Different Lands
by The Shiniest Dragonite
Summary: After Night is thrown out of his parents' house and into his friend's, Vani, house he purchases a corrupted version of Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo 64. They are sucked into the real version of Hyrule where Link's a douche, Zelda's part man, and Ganondorf is a prissy bitch... This is gonna take awhile.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Legend of Zelda. I do, however, own the OCs Night and Vani. There is profanity and description of nudity so if that offens you turn away. Anyway...Enjoy!

**Chapter One**

_Dreams are like portals to another life. Mine usually suck._

_-Night Desporia_

_My head hurts... _" Hey, Night wake up!" _Who? Is...Is that Vani? Why is she here?_ "Hey! Wake up!" _Ten more minutes please...I need to think for a little..._"Has he been like this for long?"_ Sirens? Did she call an ambulance for me? Damn. _"Night,what happened to you?" Vani exclaimed. "Nothing, don't worry Vani." I said. I had noticed her eyes were red so I assumed she was crying. "I-I-I just thought you were gone...". Vani looked at me for a while shivering slightly. "Well if my job is done I'll leave you two." said the medic picking up his bag and leaving. Now to explain to you who I am...well I'm Night Desporia. I currently attend some random school. I'm usually bullied by the sophmores. I don't mind but my best friend(and sister-like figure) Vani Solica does. Vani has...issues. She is the nicest girl on the planet until you attack me in front of her or insult her. Her parents are never home so I stay over her house. It's not like I don't have a house but it's filled with bad memories. My parents hated me so they threw me out. I was about to be stuck in a shelter until Vani came and signed for me to stay with her. I pretty much owe her my life. Then there's our obssession of video games. She pretty much has an entire room and a walk-in closet filled with computers,handhelds,consoles, and video game cases. She really likes the Halo series while I prefer the Legend Of Zelda series. Maybe that's why they bully me so often. I don't really like violent shooters unless it's on the N64. Honestly I'm a very boring child while Vani is the complete opposite. So it's not that bad having a seventeen year old take care of a fourteen year old but it can get weird especially if they forget you're a little too young...

_Flashback_

"Vani i'm home!" I exclaimed, happy to have survived an entire day without getting pummeled. "Vani? Vani. VANI!" "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Vani replied with a bit of fustration in her voice."I didn't know I was interupting anything private." Vani walked out for behind me as I had walked toward my room. I had expected her to be fully clothed but irate with me. So as anyone would I turned around. " Vani, I didn't get hurt tod-...why are you in a tow-...actually never mind." She actually pulled the towel down just to enjoy my reaction. So she stood there laughing for awhile, not even adjusting her towel. I was dying while she was showing her boobs and laughing so I tried to calm down and focus. Then, all of sudden she grabbed me and held me close to her body. She whispered," Give it to me.", close to my ear. I about lost it and allowed myself to go to my happy place, a dark forest to take a rest. She wasn't in the hallway when I returned but she had captured the whole thing on CCTV...

_Flashback End_

"Vani, can I have a sandwich?" I screamed knowing she was in her game room so a normal inside voice wouldn't carry far. "Yes just don't mess up the counter or else you're scrubbing the floor on cleaning day!" she screamed back. "Fine!" I said walking towards the fridge to get sandwich-making material. I began to hum a tune I created for making sandwichs since it helped me focus on the job. What I didn't notice was that Vani had come behind me and was about to attack me with a seat cushion. "Suprise, motherfucker." she said in a deep voice. "Oh shi-". I instead ate a bag full of cotton and not a sandwich." What the hell, Vani?!" I said. "Hehehe" Vani replied,"That was revenge for what happened just now..." "What happened?" I asked, a hint of concern in my voice. "I died," "So?" "I died on the LAST FUCKING LEVEL YOU PRICK!" Vani screamed at the top of her lungs. I was scared since she usually raged about...now. Vani went on a rant about her need for quiet since it was her house and all that other crap. So I used my ace-in-the-hole, the fact that I could go to a shelter, cold and alone. That got her good. She started to sniff and then hugged me telling me that she didn't want to yell at me and that she wouldn't know what to do if I ran away. _Like I could leave your ass. _I knew she was sorry so I told her to follow me to the game room. I pulled out Ocarina Of Time from the bag of N64 games and popped it in. The title screen came up but something was off. Instead of Link and Epona in Hyrule Field, I saw people running away as Moblins, Staflos, Wolfos, and ReDeads killed them, sparing no one at all. Blood soaked the screen and a head flew at the screen. I pressed start, against Vani's warning. Then I saw the Save File screen and chose the profile "NOX". _Isn't Nox latin for night? _I saw he started at the end of the game where Zelda sends you back in time. But instead she looked at the screen and said "Link. You are not enough to stop Ganon. These two will help you progress through the six other temples." Well that was creepy. Then thunder and lightning crashed as I was knocked unconscious. My body felt as though it was being thrown forward. That was impossible seeing as that would mean I would be slammed against the television screen._ Ouch. _Then every thing slowed down and I heard Vani's scream pierce the air. Someone was crushed as I fell on top of them(take that any way you want) and frantically pushed me off. "Goddamn, how fat are you?" came the voice of a guy, probably around the late-teens. "Hey fuckface I'm sorry I-", It was Link. Like the Legend of Zelda one. ", Oh shit, my bad bro." I said knowing I didn't want to start off on a bad foot with him. "Hey, have you seen a blue-haired girl about this high?" "Yes, she on Epona actually." Link replied, I almost heard a swooning tone in his voice. So we walked towards the horse and sure enough she was there stroking Epona's mane. "Night!" she shouted, waving as she walked towards me. She hugged me tightly as she whispered in my ear, "_ I think Link likes me, like boyfriend girlfriend, that kind of crap. It's slightly creepy though..." _That surprisingly made me jealous but more angry instead. So I turned around and yelled at him, despite Vani's protests. " Hey, fairy bitch! Vani here told me you were creeping her out," " So? Every girl falls at my feet,begging me to be with-" " Listen, I couldn't give a shit about what every girl wants okay? How do you think that a girl who probably older that you, wants to like a child-molesting fairy like you? If she ever tells me that again, I'll use the Master Sword and cut you into ribbons. Navi will probably thank me, as will Zelda and everyone else. Hell, Ganondorf will leave since he was only trying to kill you." " Hmph, that's alot of shit coming from you. That "Vani" bitch is probably retar-" THUMP! " THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME? IF YOU SAID I'M A BITCH AND THAT I'M RETARDED I WILL BRING YOU TO BONGO-BONGO AND BACK! YOU REALLY WANT TO LOSE YOUR D-" "VANI! You don't say that in the open!" She turned towards me, the Master Sword gleaming in the dying sunlight. It looked almost sinister. "Don't fucking tell me what to do Night! I saved your ass but you don't thank me!" "Vani, I-" "No, don't say anythi-" "VANI! I'M SORRY ALRIGHT?" She looked at me and I looked at Link's broken face." This is gonna take awhile..."

**Author's Notes**

- Honestly, I'm not expecting anyone to read this, but if you do and you can become a beta let me know. Since I already did a school-wide comic for this and that went well, I thought " Hey, why not Fanfiction?" But seriously consider it then PM me. Oh! Yeah, also review if you can. I don't care about flames so... Yep, that's all for now since I will release every Saturday or so. Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: ****So I let this thing go on hiatus for awhile...*gets pot thrown at him* Sorry! I was just really busy with the Olymipics and my seven-year-old cousin. Plus I might, key word being MIGHT, make a new fanfic with new OCs, an entirely new world, and a little twist from time to time. But, this is only uploaded because I am using my phone's 4G hotspot service so, except me to upload slowly. Anyway, because I am feeling jolly and all that happy, sparkly, rainbow shit I am going to upload a spoiler/idea chapter. En-fucking-joy!**

_**SPOILERS!**_

_**Warning: If you want to stay amazed while reading this story, SKIP THIS NOW! If not, Then enjoy the mess that this story is.**_

Hyrule- I am going to reset the shit out of it. I hated the fact that barely anything changed after Ganondorf died, except for the fact that you learn how to kill him easier. So, say bye to everyone and look at the NEW Vani(now called Luna), Night(now called Nox), and Link(not to seem perverted but as a female). I will give everyone new equipment, new gear(like the Tempera Shirt, which allows the user to glide through the air.), and a third POV.

Twilight Realm- Not yet fully loaded but, I am plannig to introduce Midna and Zant(he's my dealer.) as two slightly-there characters.

Real World- They'll go back... for about three days(Majora's Mask reference) and get some supplies.

New Story- So I'm calling it "Night's Not For The Weak". It features Luna, not Vani/Luna but my new character Luna. As to her backstory, I was with my "lady friend" and she was staring at the moon through my house window and it kinda just happened. Don't ask about it or else I'm gonna beat the shit out of you.

I wrote this part after like seven hours since I was really tired and forgot what the fuck I'm suppose to say. Sorry.

Nothing important, other than the fact that I'm still waiting for reviews. Is it really that complicated?*miserable humans, ruining our prophets plan to follow our Forerunner gods.*(Caught that? Halo reference)

Now I am just plain bored.

Okay, I also want to say that this chapter does not mean that I am never continuing the story again, it just means that I am changing my writing style and the backstory. However, if someone says I should just fucking finish the damn thing I will.

Um...yeah so that's all for now and I will see you guys on the 28th


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